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AOL Real Estate - Blog

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    As #houseporn fiends and real estate junkies, there's nothing we love more than poring through fabulous home listings -- except maybe sorting through the tragically un-fabulous ones. They'll definitely make you laugh, and some of them could make you cry. Every Friday, AOL Real Estate brings you the sorriest listings we could find on the Internet to show you what you should never do when posting your home online. We very appropriately call it #listingfail.

    This Week's Theme: 'Hoarders'

    hoarder home listings

    According to the listing, this Miami home needs "some major TLC." We think this home needs an external self-storage unit! Also, what good are views of the "large backyard" if you can't even get to the window (let alone get through the front door)? And the home may have gorgeous "hardwood floors," but we can't see them.

    Most importantly -- what's the point of having drawers if you don't put anything in them? A "Hoarders" candidate for sure.

    See more unflattering photos of this hoarders' nightmare (or would it be dream?) below:

    %Gallery-161668%


    hoarder home listings
    We wonder if the owner of this outrageously, embarrassingly cluttered San Francisco home ever asks guests to "take a seat" -- and then laughs hysterically. Pile of chairs aside, there's enough furniture and just plain clutter obstructing that hallway to make it a serious safety hazard! Here's a tip, homeowners: The Container Store. You're welcome.

    Thanks to our pals over at Curbed for this epic #listingfail.



    hoarder home listings

    We're not hating on the fact that there are two televisions in this room. We're hating on the fact that there are two massive, ancient televisions in this room. We're shocked they even kept one of those dinosaurs!

    And that's just the beginning. There's also the haphazard smattering of nonsensical tchotchkes all over the place, and that terrifying collection of photo frames hung on the back wall. Now, we realize that you never want to forget the faces of beloved Grandpa Jack, Auntie Maude, Great Uncle Wilfred, etc. But there are far more efficient (and less cluttered) ways to go about it: They're called photo albums.

    Thanks to our friends at Nichols & Associates for the tip!

    %Gallery-161545%


    Don't let your home be a #listingfail! Take some pro advice from our home staging guides:
    Home Staging Mistakes Sellers Should Avoid
    Home Staging Tips for Every Season
    Home Staging: Hire a Pro or Do It Yourself?



    Join in on the conversation! Tweet us listing fails @aolrealestate and hashtag #listingfail, and you could get a shout-out in next week's post!

    See more AOL Real Estate galleries:
    Charming Homes You Can Score for 150,000
    Gayborhoods
    Best Beach Towns for Buying Foreclosures


    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    Haven't yet caught the new "Batman" flick "The Dark Knight Rises"? Why not feast your eyes instead on this $2.55 million Hinsdale, Ill., mansion that has a luxury swimming pool stamped with Batman insignia. It's known across the country as "the Batpool."

    Apparently, this is something of a trend. We've also spotted Batman-themed suites, a Batcave-themed theater and even a Batman bathroom. (Thanks to our friends at Realtor for the tips)!

    Even without its famous Batman pool, the home itself holds plenty of attraction: classic English-style architecture, elegant detailing, lush gardens, a tennis court and one incredible gazebo.

    Built in the Chicago suburb in 1932, the home features four bedrooms, five bathrooms, generous living and entertainment spaces, and is built on 1.7 acres. See if you can spot the ode to the Green Bay Packers in the gallery below!

    %Gallery-160766%
    Baird and Warner Luxury Portfolio has the listing.

    Click on the images below to see more homes for sale in Hinsdale, Ill.



    See more Houses of the Day on AOL Real Estate.

    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email harris.effron@teamaol.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

    AOL Real Estate's Inside Look: Steampunk Apartment

     

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    "I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps," crooned Frank Sinatra in his 1979 classic, "New York, New York." "And find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap."

    Well, turns out his "little town" boy ended up being king of the hill, alright. Ol' Blue Eyes' former penthouse in New York City's Upper East Side has just hit the market -- for a kingly $7.7 million. Sinatra owned it from the time of its construction in the early 1960s until 1972, says the New York Post. The apartment was sold in 2010 for $2.49 million, according to our pals at Curbed, and has since undergone some sweet renovations -- including a glass spiral staircase that's "the exact same one used in the Apple Stores," the listing boasts. We're not exactly sure how we feel about that.

    However, it does offer some pretty sweet views over the East River, a wraparound terrace, 18-foot ceilings, marble fireplaces, and even a putting green! See the home for yourself.

    %Gallery-161745%
    Jason Haber and Gregory Spock have the listing.

    Click on the images below to see more homes for sale in New York, N.Y.



    See more Houses of the Day on AOL Real Estate.

    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email harris.effron@teamaol.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    Hidden passageways concealed behind fake bookshelves: That's the sort of zany thing you'd read about in a C.S. Lewis novel. But this other-worldly home in beautiful Philadelphia proves that life truly imitates art. There's nothing that evokes pure, childlike wonder for us more than a secret passageway -- that leads to a bar.

    And not just any bar, either: a former, Prohibition-era speakeasy built in 1932! And the coolness doesn't even stop there. Below the bar, there's a ... well, you'll have to watch the video to find out for yourself.

    inside look speakeasy

    Like what you see? This home -- secret speakeasy included -- is on the market for a cool $4.75 million. Christopher Plant of Elfant Wissahickon has the listing.

    %Gallery-160462%
    Got a tip for our Inside Look series? If you know of any exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale that's video-worthy, please email krisanne.alcantara@huffingtonpost.com with your suggestions. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find homes for rent in your area.
    Find out how to calculate mortgage payments.
    Find homes for sale in your area.


    Follow AOL Real Estate reporters Krisanne Alcantara (@krisannetraz) and Teke Wiggin (@tkwiggin) on Twitter (@aolrealestate).




     

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    As #houseporn fiends and real estate junkies, there's nothing we love more than poring through fabulous home listings -- except maybe sorting through the tragically un-fabulous ones. They'll definitely make you laugh, and some of them could make you cry. Every week, AOL Real Estate brings you the sorriest listings we could find on the Internet to show you what you should never do when posting your home online. We very appropriately call it #listingfail.

    This Week's Theme: Useless Listings

    listing fail useless photos

    We've written plenty about private islands for sale, so take our word for it when we say that this one does not classify. Though we love the idea of living on the water, this is definitely not what we had in mind. As cute as it is, what is the point of this listing?

    listing fail useless photos

    We're not sure what this owner is trying to do: Show off her stone kitchen countertop? Her manicure? Subtly hint that she's drowning in bills, so could someone kindly buy her home?

    Here's a useful tip, homeowners: Your photographs should say something about your home. The only thing this sorry, nonsensical photograph says is #listingfail.


    listing fail useless photos

    You know, we hate to break it to these homeowners, but this ain't a wood floor. And even if it was, we'd generally advise against scrawling the description on the ground in red marker. We understand your concern that potential buyers could mistake the "wood floor" for (gasp!) laminate (or cardboard?), but that's what photo captions are for, people!

    Lesson of the day: Do not draw on your house.

    listing fail useless photos

    You can almost feel this homeowner silently begging: "I broke my leg and I'm bedridden. Please buy my house!" Well, that's the only reason we could come up with as to why in the world this utterly useless photograph made the listing's extensive gallery. Crutches don't sell houses, people! Hot naked people do.

    For more hilarious, useless #listingfails, see the gallery below.

    %Gallery-162112%

    Don't let your home be a #listingfail! Take some pro advice from our home staging guides:
    Home Staging Mistakes Sellers Should Avoid
    Home Staging Tips for Every Season
    Home Staging: Hire a Pro or Do It Yourself?



    Join in on the conversation! Tweet us listing fails @aolrealestate and hashtag #listingfail, and you could get a shout-out in next week's post!

    See more AOL Real Estate galleries:
    Charming Homes You Can Score for $150,000
    Gayborhoods
    Best Beach Towns for Buying Foreclosures


    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    UFO House Puerto Rico

    A lot of homes are out of this world -- but this one really looks it.

    Retired industrial arts teacher Roberto Sanchez Rivera built his home in Ponce, Puerto Rico, to look like a spaceship, complete with blinking strobes, technicolor lights and even audio effects. Yes, that's right: The UFO-inspired house makes the five-tone beep greeting that the mothership makes in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." (Rivera downloaded it from the internet.)

    And building it didn't take a NASA-sized budget, either. Turns out that the entire home was a huge DIY effort. The spaceship's dome was made from dollar-store ashtrays, the psychedelic light fixtures at its base were fashioned from salad bowls and the interior decor was made from old utensils, pots and pans!

    If the flying saucer-style design doesn't appeal to you so much, no worries. The home's interiors are a little less ... celestial. See for yourself in the gallery below.

    %Gallery-162169%
    So why build a spaceship out of odds and ends in the first place? It was a promise that Rivera made to himself in high school to build a house "unlike any other," he tells The New York Times.



    See more Houses of the Day on AOL Real Estate.

    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email harris.effron@teamaol.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    jeffrey dahmer home house of the day

    Flanked by towering trees and wildflowers and nestled in the lush woodlands of Akron, Ohio, this stunning three-bedroom ranch looks like the perfect getaway home ... but behind its pretty doors lies a gruesome history. It's also the place where serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer lived and claimed his first victim in 1978. (It was here that Dahmer killed 19-year-old Steven Hicks, dismembered his body and buried it in the woods surrounding the home).

    But if you can get over that, like current owner and musician Chris Butler did, there's plenty that the gorgeous forest home has to offer. It's situated two miles from a national park and overlooks a serene pond. Built in the early 1950s, the home was so picture-perfect that it was featured in the Akron Beacon Journal's Sunday magazine -- in 1953. (See the gallery below for photos from the magazine.)

    %Gallery-162282%
    Butler, who is selling the home to make a move back East, praises the expansive outdoor deck as perfect for watching forest animals, like deer and wild turkey, and soaking in the sun ("gin and tonic in hand," he adds). Not an outdoors person? You can enjoy the idyllic nature views from the comfort of the living room via oversize windows.

    If the home's history doesn't rattle you, we think the beautiful ranch is an absolute steal at $329,000. See for yourself.

    %Gallery-162283%
    Gregory Greco of Keller Williams Realty has the listing.
    Click on the images below to see more homes for sale in Akron.



    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email harris.effron@teamaol.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.


    Inside Look: Speakeasy

     

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    As #houseporn fiends and real estate junkies, there's nothing we love more than poring through fabulous home listings -- except maybe sorting through the tragically un-fabulous ones. They'll definitely make you laugh, and some of them could make you cry. Every week, AOL Real Estate brings you the sorriest listings we could find on the Internet to show you what you should never do when posting your home online. We very appropriately call it #listingfail.

    This Week's Theme: Animal-Crazy Listings



    First of all: Vegetarians, look away. Secondly, we have nothing against mounting one or two of your taxidermic big-game kills, but a whole room of them is just plain creepy. (Is that an elephant head on the back wall?) This looks less like a home and more like an exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History. That, or the owners of this Florida home want to go on a permanent safari.

    Thanks to our friends at Curbed for this epic #listingfail.

    Let's just cut the small talk and address the elephant in the room -- or, rather, the dead bear sprawled across the floor. If that doesn't scare off shoppers, there's a backup stuffed bear, plus what looks like a taxidermied cheetah. A word to the wise: If it's dead, it won't help you sell your home.

    Thanks to Ugly House Photos for this #listingfail.


    So that's where all the deer went! We wonder how this homeowner can get any work done in that otherwise nice home office with all those eyes watching...

    Thanks to Hooked on Houses for this #listingfail.

    For more hilarious, animal-crazy #listingfails see the gallery below.

    %Gallery-162309%

    Don't let your home be a #listingfail! Take some pro advice from our home staging guides:
    Home Staging Mistakes Sellers Should Avoid
    Home Staging Tips for Every Season
    Home Staging: Hire a Pro or Do It Yourself?



    Join in on the conversation! Tweet us listing fails @aolrealestate and hashtag #listingfail, and you could get a shout-out in next week's post!

    See more AOL Real Estate galleries:
    Charming Homes You Can Score for $150,000
    Gayborhoods
    Best Beach Towns for Buying Foreclosures


    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    Sculptures and statues adorning properties can add subtle beauty -- or, like the wild kingdom above, they can leave you shaking your head in wonder (and not necessarily in a good way). Here, we bring you the most unusual sculptures and statues we could find, residential and otherwise. Some are funny, some are scary, and some defy description. Click through the gallery below to see what we mean. And by the way, the house pictured above? There's a lot more to it than that.

    %Gallery-162402%
    See more great galleries on AOL Real Estate:
    Listing Photos That Use "Models"
    10 of the Biggest Homes in the Country
    Street Signs That Will Make You Giggle (PeePee Falls?!)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    Find homes for rent in your area.

    Follow us on Twitter at @AOLRealEstate, or connect with AOL Real Estate on Facebook and Pinterest.

     

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    House of the Day Hollywood home colorful Tudor

    You know what? We're tired of all the sharp-edged, glass-walled, run-of-the-mill vanilla contemporaries in Hollywood. If we had a choice (and a spare $2 million), we'd want to live in this ultra-colorful, Tudor-style home in West Hollywood, Calif. Its eclectic exteriors are painted every shade of the pastel rainbow, and it's anything but your average Hollywood manor, but we like it.

    %Gallery-162937%
    Inside, the home's a little more classic and true to its historic, vintage aesthetic (the home was built in 1912). Antique light fixtures, lots of glossy wood, and exquisite moldings are a pretty contrast to the home's endearingly outlandish facade. Thanks to our pals at Curbed for the tip!

    See the listing at Zillow.

    Click on the images below to see more homes for sale in West Hollywood, Calif.



    See more Houses of the Day on AOL Real Estate.

    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email harris.effron@teamaol.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

    Identifying a Tudor Style Home

     

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    As #houseporn fiends and real estate junkies, there's nothing we love more than poring through fabulous home listings -- except maybe sorting through the tragically un-fabulous ones. They'll definitely make you laugh, and some of them could make you cry. Every week, AOL Real Estate brings you the sorriest listings we could find on the Internet to show you what you should never do when posting your home online. We very appropriately call it #listingfail.

    This Week's Theme: They Said What?!




    Attention, "sexy" white, Latin or Asian ladies: Want to live in a home rent-free? Then this Los Angeles rental listing may be perfect for you (NOT). In case you can't read the fine print, this Craigslist (of course) ad reads, verbatim:

    "Hello young handsome guy interested in being here for a very attractive women white latin or asian must be fit in shape open minded love to travel.shop enjoy lofe if this is you text 3233956692"

    Of course, "young handsome guy" is probably hoping you'll be too dazzled by the artful fan of Benjamins he's laid out on his carpet to even care about asking further questions (such as, do you get your own bedroom, and, if not, what is the money for???). But whatever. If you're "open minded," this could be the perfect bordello -- er, home -- for you.

    We can see from the listing that it has a pool, at least.

    If the previous living arrangement was a little too, er, liberal for your tastes, then this one might be cause for you to celibate. Sorry, we meant celebrate.

    Potential renters of this (now expired) ad for a two-bedroom, two-bathroom Wheaton, Md., apartment must be "chaste females" who don't "entertain overnight guests of a romantic nature." Still don't catch the drift? Let the listing break it down for you: It's a "booty-free zone!" (Yay...?).

    Don't worry though -- life won't be completely loveless because you'll have the company of a resident rabbit named Winter (pictured). This "adorable bunny-friend" is apparently very shy, but likes to have his cage in common areas where he can see you. And watch your every move.

    Strange requests and furry roommates aside, here's the lesson you can glean from this #listingfail: It's virginally -- or virtually -- impossible to rent out an apartment if there are no pictures of the place in the listing! Rule of thumb: potential tenants or roommates (chaste or otherwise) will be more inclined to live in a place if they can see what it, you know, actually looks like.

    We don't even know where to start with this Washington, D.C., housemate listing -- it's so bad that it's good -- so we'll just let it speak for itself. The Craigslist listing, titled "50 shades of CRAY/2 bed/2bath holleration in moderation," begins with:

    "hey. so 50 shades of cray has nothing to do with my ad. i just wrote it to get your attention."

    But don't feel duped! The house itself is "awesome beautiful" -- so much so, in fact, that the owner adds, "ID bang it if i could." (Talk about #houseporn!)

    A few tips, though: As hilarious as it may be to joke that you'd make sweet, sweet love to your own house, it's probably not the best way to attract future housemates. Sane ones, anyway. Nonetheless, this right here is #listingfail gold.

    For more hilarious, "They Said What?!" #listingfails, see the gallery below.

    %Gallery-162917%

    Don't let your home be a #listingfail! Take some pro advice from our home staging guides:
    Home Staging Mistakes Sellers Should Avoid
    Home Staging Tips for Every Season
    Home Staging: Hire a Pro or Do It Yourself?



    Join the conversation! Tweet us listing fails @aolrealestate and hashtag #listingfail, and you could get a shout-out in next week's post!

    See more AOL Real Estate galleries:
    Charming Homes You Can Score for $150,000
    Gayborhoods
    Best Beach Towns for Buying Foreclosures


    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    knob & kettle ranch brock candy montana

    This gorgeous, monstrous cabin in the woods gives new meaning to the term "eye candy."

    Known as Knob & Kettle Ranch and nestled in the Blackfoot Valley in Ovando, Mont., the sprawling home is owned by Pat and Nina Brock, who used to head the Brock Candy Co., which introduced the beloved gummy bears and gummy worms candy in the 1980s. And if you have a sweet tooth for soaring vaulted ceilings with wooden beams and Western-style log cabins with fire pits, then the Brocks' Montana home can be yours for $9.5 million.

    The ranch sits on 1,185 acres of lush greenery in the Montana forest, and if you're a hunter, it's right in the middle of prime game territory. The interiors are a woodsman's dream: Sweeping open rooms with wood walls and ceilings, as well as exquisite stone fireplaces. See for yourself in the gallery below.

    Bill McDavid of Hall and Hall has the listing.

    %Gallery-163383%
    See more Houses of the Day on AOL Real Estate.

    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email krisanne.alcantara@huffingtonpost.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.


    Visit the State of Montana

     

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    homes for Snooki and son

    We never thought we'd see the day, but it has come: "Jersey Shore's" Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is now a mother. The pickle-loving, perpetually-tan MTV reality star gave birth to Lorenzo Dominic LaValle on Sunday, which would actually mean very little to us here at AOL Real Estate -- except that this might mean she'll soon be shopping for a new, bigger pad to house her fiance, Jionni LaValle, and brand-new bub. From homes with tanning beds to disco dance floors, here are our picks for some seriously Snooki-worthy pads.

    %Gallery-163444%
    See also:
    Hey 'Jersey Shore' Fans: Now You Can Rent the House
    Craigslist Ad's Selling Point: Forget France, Come to N.J.

    Tim Tebow's Condo in Hoboken


    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    Jennifer Lopez Miami Beach home

    Every time we see a home owned or formerly owned by one Miss Jennifer Lopez, we find it harder and harder to imagine that she's still "Jenny From the Block." This newly-listed $40 million Miami Beach mansion, for example, which she sold to health-care entrepreneur Mark Gainor in 2005, is but another example of just how far the singer/actress has come since her days in the Bronx.

    Frankly, we have no idea why the owners are trying to get rid of Lopez's old palatial digs. Obviously, there's the steep price mark-up (they initially bought the manse from her for $13.9 million), which adds up to hefty profits. But personally, if we were Gainor, we'd probably just stay. With gorgeous, 150-year-old reclaimed-wood floors, original keystone columns, elegant palm tree gardens and a 6,000-gallon koi pond, it's a home that balances luxury with true elegance. And those massive closets bigger-than-the-average-New-York-apartment don't hurt, either.

    Nelson Gonzalez of Esslinger-Wooten-Maxwell Realtors in Miami Beach has the listing.

    %Gallery-163472%
    Click on the images below to see more homes for sale in Miami Beach.



    See more Houses of the Day on AOL Real Estate.

    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email harris.effron@teamaol.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

    Miami Beach Home Re-Lists for $40 Million

     

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    Hurricane Isaac preparation

    The National Weather Service upgraded Tropical Storm Isaac to a Category 1 hurricane Tuesday, as the storm barreled toward the Gulf Coast. Coastal residents from Louisiana to Alabama were preparing for the storm by boarding up their homes and businesses and fleeing. Isaac has already left a swath of severe damage across Cuba, Haiti and other areas of the Caribbean Sea, and Gulf Coast communities were hoping against hope that the damage wouldn't be as severe. See what's been happening in those regions in the gallery below, from efforts to fend off damage in the Gulf to the ruins it's already left behind.

    %Gallery-163545%
    See also:
    Tips for Protecting Your Home Against Storm Damage

    Underground Real Estate Boom: Bomb Shelter Sales on the Rise

    Earthquake Preparedness: Are You Ready?

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    Filed under:

    As #houseporn fiends and real estate junkies, there's nothing we love more than poring through fabulous home listings -- except maybe sorting through the tragically un-fabulous ones. They'll definitely make you laugh, and some of them could make you cry. Every week, AOL Real Estate brings you the sorriest listings we could find on the Internet to show you what you should never do when posting your home online. We very appropriately call it #listingfail.

    This Week's Theme: Realtors in Need of a Reality Check




    There are so many talking points in this advertisement for Canadian real estate firm Brad J. Lamb Realty that we don't even know where to start. There's Brad's head in an astronaut helmet attached to what looks like a sheep's body wearing space boots. There's the space shuttle attached to Brad's neck. And all of this is happening somewhere above earth ... where Brad, your Realtor, is "miles above the competition."

    Now, we love a little humor (we created #housepornthurs and #listingfail, after all), and we get the sentiment behind the ad, but let's not mince words. This ad is just bad. Even Brad looks a little uncomfortable with it!

    Our suggestion? When it comes to Realtor ads, professionalism and simplicity are the keys to success. Remember that your ad is your professional calling card, and buying a house is one of the most significant financial decisions a person will make in their lifetime. Photoshopping your head onto a floating moon-sheep is just tacky and may, er, alienate potential clients.

    (Ad courtesy of Keeping It Realtor).

    Have you been a naughty house hunter? Or are you a seller that's looking to get filthy ... rich? If you're looking for a sexy piece of real estate, call Allyse for a good time and ask about her private showings.

    Editor's tip: Realtors, to avoid being mistaken for a phone sex hotline, please lose the phone (and sultry look) in your business card picture. A classic head-and-shoulders Realtor headshot is tried and tested, and it looks infinitely more professional and less ... suggestive.

    (Ad courtesy of Realadtor.)

    Does this ad from Keller Williams Realtor Jeff Hughes make you ... squirm? We thought it went without saying, but(t) if your ad reminds people of a prostate exam, they're not likely to want your representation. We get that Jeff wants homeowners to know that when it comes to selling your home, he's behind you. But don't go too far with that metaphor, please.

    (Ad courtesy of Realadtor blog).

    For more hilarious, "Reality Check Realtors" #listingfails, see the gallery below.

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    Don't let your home be a #listingfail! Take some pro advice from our home staging guides:
    Home Staging Mistakes Sellers Should Avoid
    Home Staging Tips for Every Season
    Home Staging: Hire a Pro or Do It Yourself?



    Join the conversation! Tweet us listing fails @aolrealestate and hashtag #listingfail, and you could get a shout-out in next week's post!

    See more AOL Real Estate galleries:
    Charming Homes You Can Score for $150,000
    Gayborhoods
    Best Beach Towns for Buying Foreclosures


    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
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    Find
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    See celebrity real estate.

     

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    House of the Day Brookings Oregon

    Labor Day is a bittersweet holiday. It celebrates the economic and social achievements of American workers (read: day off), yet it also signals the end of sweet, sweet summer. But not if you live in Brookings, Ore! Being one of American mainland's westernmost cities, this lucky town is one that can experience the best of summer late into the season.

    That said -- we're moving to Brookings! Specifically, to this elegant, $1.6 million waterfront mansion with a jaw-dropping view of the ocean. The pretty beach home features a tropical indoor pool, hand-carved doors, travertine floors, and ample floor-to-ceiling windows that grace the home with sunlight and endless blue views. Plus -- a huge backyard, perfect for Labor Day barbecues. Next year, perhaps?

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    Kelly McLain has the listing.

    Click on the images below to see more homes for sale in Brookings, Ore.



    See more Houses of the Day on AOL Real Estate.

    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email harris.effron@teamaol.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

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    One of the best things about our jobs, aside from occasional trips to the Hamptons and going down penthouse slides, is getting the rare opportunity to meet and befriend some truly colorful, creative and fascinating humans. (You'll know exactly what we mean when you watch this video.) Case in point: artists and designers Victoria and Richard MacKenzie-Childs, founders of the eponymous home decor and jewelry line -- and owners of the famous "MacKenzie-Childs Estate" in New York's Finger Lakes region.

    Trust us when we say that we've been invited into countless homes in the past, and never have we seen a house that so perfectly matches its owners than this gigantic "piece of art." Everything about this home and the people who live in it is filled to the brim with life and character. (Spoiler: There are dolls hanging from the bathroom ceiling!) Whether you love it or hate it, we can guarantee that you are in for a treat.

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    Like what you see? Michael DeRosa and Mike Franklin of Select Sotheby's International Realty have the listing.


    Got a tip for our Inside Look series? If you know of any exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale that's video-worthy, please email krisanne.alcantara@huffingtonpost.com with your suggestions. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
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    Find
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    See celebrity real estate.

    Follow us on Twitter at @AOLRealEstate, or connect with AOL Real Estate on Facebook and Pinterest.

     

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    Matt Damon California mansion

    Of course Jason Bourne would buy a $15 million mansion in the Pacific Palisades. Of course he would.

    This seriously Bourne-worthy Los Angeles-area home, described as "the best home in the Pacific Palisades," was just snapped up by "Bourne Identity" star Matt Damon and it's obvious why: 35-foot mahogany vaulted ceilings, disappearing walls of glass, a floating staircase, a spa pavilion, a huge in-home gym (naturally), a koi pond. Maid's quarters, even. Two of them. Because Jason Bourne can kill five people at once but he can't make his own eggs or fold his own laundry.

    The Grant Kirkpatrick-designed home also boasts seven spacious bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, a five-car garage and a gargantuan outdoor swimming pool. To offset the sheer decadence of the property's luxury features (disappearing walls of glass? A floating staircase? Maids' quarters?!), the decor is super-earthy and zen -- warm tones, stone walls, wood floors. We're huge fans. Of both of them.

    Thanks to our pals at Curbed for the tip!

    %Gallery-164087%
    See more homes for sale in Pacific Palisades, Calif.



    See more Houses of the Day on AOL Real Estate.

    Got a tip for House of the Day? Know of an exceptional or unusual property currently listed for sale? Please email harris.effron@teamaol.com with your suggestions and be sure to include links to listing details and photos. (Due to the volume of response, we unfortunately are unable to reply to each submission.)

    More on AOL Real Estate:
    Find out how to
    calculate mortgage payments.
    Find
    homes for sale in your area.
    Find
    foreclosures in your area.
    See celebrity real estate.

     

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